I took your pictures of the wall- you, not affected at all- you smile as my fury grows- and tell me, "that's the way love goes"- Demading my readiness only- Asking you to wait for me- Still pieces of the woman in me- the one that I will be- anonymous

I hate moving. I have been moving since I was a child and nothing makes it easier. Cold Spring, NY to Beacon NY to Hackettstown, NJ to Greensboro, NC to Westminster, MD to Cedarville, OH to Sevilla, Spain to Hampstead MD to College Park, MD to Hyattsville, MD back to campus. Twenty-two years of moving when all I really want to do is to settle in one place and stay there. Decorate, cook, live, sleep... and move no more. Who said change is good? They were obviously selling something. All that stress about getting everything into boxes. RIDICULOUS. I was just starting to get used to the girls in my house and now I have to leave them. I will miss all of them so much... no counselor could ever fulfill how much they have supported me this summer. Seriously. Speaking of which, I will be an aunt come March... That I can't believe. I will be twenty-two years old in October and not even sure that I will ever be ready to marry and here is my sister, four years younger, embarking on a life with a husband-to-be, child-to-be, and dog in West Virginia. She is still a child! At seventeen, my biggest concern was to find a date for junior prom or to memorize verses for the next Bible Quiz or to learn to play tuba well enough to impress my band director or to apply for college. It was not to complete high school online and to save up enough money to support myself and my child since I won't be working in a few months. I am speechless... well sort of. There is not a word that Webster has to describe how I feel about this. Sadly, I want to be happy... a baby... in my family! Or reality...a baby...IN MY FAMILY?!?!?!?! How? How will she be responsible enough to take care of someone else? Maybe God has brought this so that my parents can work through their differences and agree to disagree and to be civil with one another. Maybe He brought it so that my sister will grow up and learn to take care of herself by taking care of another person. Maybe it is to teach Katie and I something. Maybe it is everything all at once...