Today I am almost ready to burst with some kind of energy. It is a mix of frustration because I was yet again turned down for a job that I was definitely qualified for. And I was turned down because my asking salary was too high and they didn't choose to counter-offer. This energy has also a bit of excitement in the mix because I think I am onto something. I was looking, out of curiosity, at some missions websites and when I stumbled upon the wycliffe page, it listed some Bible translation institutes. So I suddenly got the idea of maybe going back to school to become a Bible translator. Put my passion for Christ and translation to good use. But I wonder if I am already qualified for a position as a Bible translator? I know, however, that I still need to learn Greek and Hebrew, so perhaps if I can get those down, I can become an expert translator. I am freaking out a little because this throws my plans entirely out the window. My plans to start working and such. And it scares me to think that I could change it up a little - I have never been a fan of change. But somehow, this is all just very exciting to me, the prospect of doing something like this and it could be it! I just feel tied down in a lot of places. My friends and family are here and a lot of these seminaries that offer Bible translation courses are far away. I am so confused right now, I don't know what to do about it. But I feel like I have to tell someone or I will just burst. But who could I tell that would give me their impartial, honest opinion? It is times like this when I wish I didn't feel intimidated by calling up my pastor and asking him questions. However, Steve is online... maybe I could ask him...

"Will you be the one to answer to His call? And will you stand when those around you fall? Will you be the one to take His light into a darker world? Tell me, will you be the one?"

Lately, (I am not certain about this), but I have been feeling the call. And what "call", pray tell? The missions call. I don't know whether I feel full time missions is what is calling me or whether a short trip would do the trick. Sometimes I feel it should be so obvious to me...I love foreign languages and cultures, I don't want to teach, and most importantly I am a Christian. And I can't find a job! Wouldn't my time be better served creating a better translation of the Spanish Bible or helping out at the international school in Buenos Aires or perhaps working at the outreach camp in Peru? It just seems that so often when God is trying to tell me something, He comes at me from so many angles and lately missions has pretty much been in my face. First it was the week-long missions awareness theme at Camp Tohiglo and then the first night back to church, the president of BCM is there. And I am always enraptured rather than bored when I hear the different stories. The thing is, I could be anything that they need. I don't have to be the one teaching... there are so many ways to serve. Especially with my translation specialty. I know that is a gift of mine... I do it for pure love of the work. But I wonder how God can use me. I think I need to start looking at mission organization websites and see if there is anything for me... especially something that I could start on now without anymore schooling... maybe another missions translator has too much work or something like that... oh, if only I could be sure what God was calling me to do...