Now don't laugh, but on Saturday, Brandon and I were wanting to see a movie and decided to go see RV. (You know, that new family movie where Robin Williams rents an RV to spend some time with his very rich family.) Family movies are not usually our choice; however, it did look very funny and we decided to go.
But the real adventure started before the movie.
I had spent Saturday at the outlets trying to find some shorts for Brandon and I and these particular outlets are about an hour away. A few of the shirts I purchased for myself were not quite what I wanted to be wearing outside of the house. It just so happens that the mall where we usually view our movies happens to house some outlet stores as well as some regular retail stores. The two stores where I needed to return shirts were at the Mills!
Why is this an adventure?
Well, we arrived at the mall at 7:34 and the movie was supposed to begin at 7:50. I had to wait in the ticket line with Brandon to get my ticket so that he could save us a seat and some popcorn while I was running around. By the time I had my ticket, it was already 7:40.
Now, in any normal mall, running to two stores in ten minutes might not be a major thing. But if you are familiar with any of the mills establishments (they are all over the country: St Louis Mills, Potomac Mills, Arrundel Mills), you understand my predicament. These malls are divided into neighborhoods which are all like mini-malls. Old Navy and Gap were located at the opposite end of the mills from the movie theater. But I was determined, even if I had to miss my favorite: previews!
I was cruising along at a pretty good speed as soon as I had my ticket in hand and began to cut my way through the children's play area (I will never understand, until I have children, why children are brought to malls). I was just about to round the corner toward my first stop when a man that was ahead of me pushing a stroller decided to cut me off by going closer to the wall. I was already stuck inside of his group of people, so I couldn't go around on the other side. Crisis! Normally in this situation, someone in the group points out that this poor person was trying to get by, but no such luck. Finally, he pointed the stroller opposite the wall and I was able to squeeze past.
Victory: I reached Gap. I was only the second person in line and I had my receipt handy when I reached the front. Perfect: I was out in three minutes flat.
I began flying toward Old Navy with no time to spare, but I just had to see if I could replace the shirts I currently had with the correct size appropriate for a future pastor's wife (and any believer at that). Unfortunately, the shirts were not in the same spot as in the other store and it took me just long enough to get behind two girls in line that were in no hurry at all and showed it by shopping the merchandise that is there in line. There were, of course, only two people working behind the counter. One took care of the two girls that were not only arguing about who was going to pay for the pile of clothes in front of them, but also had some special coupon that was going to take FOR-EV-ER to process.
The woman with the other clerk was on the cell phone with her husband holding up progress because she thought he might want to buy more things or want all different sizes or whatever. Things that OBVIOUSLY couldn't have been solved before she reached the checkout line. (?!)
There was a slight glimmer of hope when another clerk walked behind the counter. I thought for sure he was going to open a drawer and ring me up, but no such luck. He had just shown up to stand behind the counter and do nothing!
During this time, Brandon texts me to tell me where he is located in the theater and I text him back to let him know that the people around me are foiling my perfect plans.
Anyway, as I am most patiently waiting, the woman on the cell phone finishes up her purchases and I am called over to checkout. Just when I thought it would be an even exchange, in and out!, it turns out the tax is higher at this particular mall and I owe Old Navy 19 cents on my even exchange. No problem, just get me out of here!
At this point it is 7:54 and I have about six minutes to get back to the opposite end of the world to see the movie. Of course, on my way back, every slow person in the mills wants to walk right in front of me! AHHH!!!
8:01 rolls around and I manage to slide into my seat next to Brandon in the fifth row up just in time to see the opening credits of RV.
Just a day in the life of a superwife.
PS This movie was hilarious if you want to go out and see a good clean movie. Seriously, hilarious.
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